My 3 wishes. 

 After yesrs of internet surveys I’ve finally figured out what  my 3 wishes from as genie would be. 

Wish #1: Every person I meet at least  once will have the capability to just pull from their pockets whatever they want to eat. 

Wish #2: To always be the third wealthiest person on the planet thus enabling me to travel and meet a whole bunch of people. 

Wish #3: To be able to have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, when ever I wanted . Just, poof , they appear before me. 

30 things to do in the next 3 years

Well I wrote this a year ago so 2 years left and I am currently against skydiving. I looked up the statistics, 1 death in 180,000, so I’m not sure I like my odds. 

And I still have to write 22 more things I won’t do, so you know, I’m busy. 

1.) Sky dive. If I wasn’t a complete clutz I would do the flying squirell suit. 

2.) Hawaii. Just do all of hawaii. 

3.) Do a voice over for a cartoon.

4.) Volunteer to call bingo at a retirement home. 

5.)Take a painting/Drawing class. 

6.) Re-visit and walk the neighborhood I grew up in. 

7.) Tell more people to f off and set some boundries. (8.)

7:37 p.M.

Last night I skipped my sleeping pills. 

Around midnight I got the bright idea to attend a group time at the library. 

I laid there thinking that I had to start getting out more. I had to start being around people. I just had to. 

If I go too long without social interaction it heightens my anxiety when the situations finally occur. If I allowed myself to I would happily not be around people. 

I dragged myself out of bed after only five and half hours of sleep and thought to myself “You said you would.” 

All morning I was convinced I’d back out. Tossing and turning the idea in my head. 

Then came 10:10 a.m. and there I was, at the door, with my shoes on and keys in hand. All ready to go because, after all, I told myself I would. 

So I did.

It’s not that I don’t like people, I just don’t like to be around them. 

It’s hard to explain. 

Anyway, I only made one massive social blunder that will churn in my mind for two days, so cheers to me. 

I did it again

I went out in public and I’m annoyed at myself.

Just another one of those lonnngggg visits with 10 people. Some might call it a party. 

Everything was fine until I got home. 

I resigned myself to the fact that it had to be done. It had to be gone to. So I muddled through. Calm at first then more people arrived. There were even video chats with people from far away places. 

I rode the anxiety wave all through the gathering. 

Being in front of people even just to do normal things, it stress me out afterwards, when I get home and replay the event, to a level thats just not logical. 
I just sit and rewind parts that I think were…  whats the word…awkward. That I acted awkard in maybe?

I don’t know. 

Lately, I’ve been telling myself at the end of everyday that tomorrow I’ll do better. 

Lucky for me there’s another must attend group gathering in a week. 

I am just freaking thrilled. 

7:55 PM

I decorated a Christmas tree for the first time in 10 years tonight. 

Not just decorated one, went out and bought one and all the fixings. 

I don’t know how it happened.

It turned out to be the most retro modern tree you can think of. 

It’s snow flocked but to much so and just looks like a cheap white one. 

Paired with neon green, blue and magenta ornaments and topped of with multi colored lights this thing glows. 

The 70’s style l.e.d. color changing Angel just completes it. 

My mother would hate it.

It’s the ugliest tree I’ve ever seen. 

I love it. 

I got punk’d by a hummingbird.

I have these two hummingbirds that visit me, they are probably mostly there for the flowers in the tree next to me rather than my company. 

But I still named them “Thumbelina” and  “Joe”. 

Nice bird couple as far as bird couples go. They would sit in the tree and talk to one another.They looked more like they were in a argument actually, they would flap and chirp, flap and chirp until one would fly off in a huff. But, I would come back outside and there would be one of them,  calmly sitting, but squealing a high sharp chirp while flicking its head back and forth, concentrating for a call back. 

As if to say “Honey, I’m sorry, I’ll bring you some nectar.”

A few days later they’d swing back around, as if to say “See, things are all better.”

Well, things must have gotten better in the Hummingbird house, as what do I see the other day but a big chunky Hummingbird, different from the other two. 

This guy was as round as a silver dollar, and for a humming bird that is huge! 

I named him Thor, respectfully. 

Now, I’m sitting there admiring him for what must of been all of maybe 30 seconds, and just as I’m staring into his little eyes thinking the thought, “O, what a cute bi-” I see him bomb dive out of the tree that is a mere 3 feet from my head. 

I think I heard him move more than I saw him. 

I had no course of action other than to attempt to shield my face. 

On instinct I bring my knees up and my hands and face down. Essentially curling into a sitting ball. 

Mind you these guys, on average, beat there wings 53 times a second. This is not a bumble bee that you can shoo away and run in the house. Literally one second I was thinking this damn bird was cute and the next he was at my face. 

Or would have been if that cute freaking bird didn’t turn away at the last moment possible. 

He must have arced upwards in the spilt second I was turning into a ball and cowering from him, a kamikazi hummingbird that only moments ago I thought was majestic. 

That’s what I get for putting my phone down and trying to look at the world around me, Hummingbirds that want to involve me in their love life and their offspring that punk’d me. 

I bet he was thinking “Yea, who’s the cute bird now” as he flew away.