I went out in public and I’m annoyed at myself.
Just another one of those lonnngggg visits with 10 people. Some might call it a party.
Everything was fine until I got home.
I resigned myself to the fact that it had to be done. It had to be gone to. So I muddled through. Calm at first then more people arrived. There were even video chats with people from far away places.
I rode the anxiety wave all through the gathering.
Being in front of people even just to do normal things, it stress me out afterwards, when I get home and replay the event, to a level thats just not logical.
I just sit and rewind parts that I think were… whats the word…awkward. That I acted awkard in maybe?
I don’t know.
Lately, I’ve been telling myself at the end of everyday that tomorrow I’ll do better.
Lucky for me there’s another must attend group gathering in a week.
I am just freaking thrilled.