I got punk’d by a hummingbird.

I have these two hummingbirds that visit me, they are probably mostly there for the flowers in the tree next to me rather than my company. 

But I still named them “Thumbelina” and  “Joe”. 

Nice bird couple as far as bird couples go. They would sit in the tree and talk to one another.They looked more like they were in a argument actually, they would flap and chirp, flap and chirp until one would fly off in a huff. But, I would come back outside and there would be one of them,  calmly sitting, but squealing a high sharp chirp while flicking its head back and forth, concentrating for a call back. 

As if to say “Honey, I’m sorry, I’ll bring you some nectar.”

A few days later they’d swing back around, as if to say “See, things are all better.”

Well, things must have gotten better in the Hummingbird house, as what do I see the other day but a big chunky Hummingbird, different from the other two. 

This guy was as round as a silver dollar, and for a humming bird that is huge! 

I named him Thor, respectfully. 

Now, I’m sitting there admiring him for what must of been all of maybe 30 seconds, and just as I’m staring into his little eyes thinking the thought, “O, what a cute bi-” I see him bomb dive out of the tree that is a mere 3 feet from my head. 

I think I heard him move more than I saw him. 

I had no course of action other than to attempt to shield my face. 

On instinct I bring my knees up and my hands and face down. Essentially curling into a sitting ball. 

Mind you these guys, on average, beat there wings 53 times a second. This is not a bumble bee that you can shoo away and run in the house. Literally one second I was thinking this damn bird was cute and the next he was at my face. 

Or would have been if that cute freaking bird didn’t turn away at the last moment possible. 

He must have arced upwards in the spilt second I was turning into a ball and cowering from him, a kamikazi hummingbird that only moments ago I thought was majestic. 

That’s what I get for putting my phone down and trying to look at the world around me, Hummingbirds that want to involve me in their love life and their offspring that punk’d me. 

I bet he was thinking “Yea, who’s the cute bird now” as he flew away.


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