Why I will not be accepting a job offer

Dear Mr. Know It All,

Ok so I may have already accepted the job but I’ve changed my mind. It was my first interview in a very long time, my anxiety got the best of me. However after using my eidetic memory to recall the days event’s, I’m going to have to decline, for many a reasons.

First of all, you shook hands with your left hand, I just don’t understand, I looked for tell tell signs that there was something wrong with your right, but there was not.

Secondly, you lied about the pay in the ad. This should really be the numero uno, because if you lied in the beginning you are just going to keep on keeping on. That is just unacceptable.

Thirdly, after explaining the reasons for leaving my last job you told me “that sucks.” What? Use better language. “That’s unfortunate” comes to mind. Big minus points.

Lastly, my intuitions are telling me you really don’t know what the f*** you’re doing. So while I’m pretty broke all the time, I still have a freezer full of food and the entire GoT series to read. I think I’m just going to wait for a better opportunity. Appreciate the offer and the interview ice breaker. Next time don’t lie about pay and maybe I can work with the rest of what is bound to “suck” about the job.

Too hot out for this BS.


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