Funny things I do when I’m nervous

1.) Laugh. “O haha I have to do a strip search. O haha I’m being laid off. O haha you’re breaking up with me.”

2.) Cry. “Wait you have to do what kind of search? O wait you mean I can’t afford to live anymore? O wait you said what now?”

3.) Pretend I didn’t hear you and blink a whole lot. **Air conditioner does all the talking**

4.) Run the hell away. And keep on going until the density of a glass door puts a end to it.

5.) Drink. A. Lot.

6.) Forget that breathing is not optional. “You can’t lay someone off that’s in the hospital, that’s just wrong. I think I have to be coherent for a strip search, that would be wrong too. Maybe I’ll look cute passed out, that’ll show him.”

7.)Pretend I know what the hell I’m doing. “You mean I can’t just flash you and have it count as a strip search? O no biggie, I’ve got savings and tons of jobs lined up. O yea, read my mind, I was totally going to break up with you too.”

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6 thoughts on “Funny things I do when I’m nervous

  1. Ha! My normal go to is “sarcasm as a defense mechanism” and hugely inappropriate jokes for the situation. Nervous is not a good color on me, lol.

    Liked by 2 people

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